Working with the Psychic Life…

My daughter is out of town right now, and I am missing her somthing awful.  She’s 2000 miles away, and been gone for two weeks.  She has been living with me (along with her boyfriend and crazy cat) and it’s been nice having them here.

I was sitting here at 1 a.m. trying to figure out what to do, I can’t get tired since I get antsy at night, and all of a sudden I smelled her, as if she just came into the room and hugged me it was so close.  She has a wonderful smell like patchouli and baby powder; she wears a special oil blend that I use in my lotions and perfumes, and her body never stopped producing that wonderful baby smell when she was growing up…  It’s really cool, you know that smell, that one that makes women say “awww… I want another one!!!”  It usually stops when they turn about 3…  but hers never stopped.  It’s located right in front of her ears; I explained it to her boyfriend one day, and we stood in the kitchen sniffing her… it was hilarious, because she just stood there while we did that for a minute and then just said ‘hey!’ when she realized how freaky the whole scene was.  But we found it, and he thought it was cute, and she blushed, so it was great.

Anyway. I smelled her, so I text messaged her and just said ‘I smell u.”   She would know what I meant.  Then she replied “I just opened my bag and smelled your perfume!”  (I had given her a small bottle of perfume that I wear).  So we smelled each other at the same time. 

We are very linked like that, even with pain, cravings, all sorts of things.  Sometimes she will come to me and say “I want pizza– is that me or you?”  lol… 

We have shared dreams too, which can be extremely interesting. 

I have this kind of with my husband, and my middle daughter, and my sister.  But nothing as strong as my youngest.  It’s quite an experience.

Fibromyalgia and the art of cats.

There are so many people who have animals that feel healing effects from them, and it seems the animals have a certain link to the person.  I personally am a cat person, and I know my cats seems to know when I’m hurting and will curl up in those spots and provide heat; it’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. 

On the flip side, those of us with severe fibromyalgia know that animals also come with needs.  Dogs need walking, and cats have litter boxes.  That adds a problem for those of us who are unable to do some of those tasks.  My fibro comes with a handy dandy scent issue.  I HATE cleaning the litter box.  However, that smell is something I cannot handle.

So, we had the box in the basement and my husband would clean up litter box.  Problem solved.  Until my daughter moved in.  Into the basement.  The litter box that moved to the upstairs bathroom; at that point my husband decided that the cat was no longer his duty, (how that was decided I still don’t understand), and I ended up with litter duty.

Mama was very unhappy.  I went through many boxes of baking soda, different litter, spray deodorant…  It got to the point no one would go in the bathroom because of all the smells!

Then I found Tidy Cat.  It has tiny crystals and it’s for multiple cats even though I only have one.  It’s been a miracle!  I can go 2 to 3 days without cleaning the box, and when I do it so quick and easy and there’s nothing broken apart or left behind to stink.

So if you are a cat person, and you do have this problem, this may be your solution.

Can you say BRRRRRRRRRRR??

How in the world can global warming be alive and well?  It is -15.  NOT windchill, the actual temperature!!  How in the world??

This sucks!

I don’t understand how the weather could get so cold just 12 HRS after my daughter leaves for phoenix!  Doesn’t that seem fishy?  And while we are left to work and fend for ourselves, and her poor boyfriend passed to deliver sandwiches 6 hours a day, she is playing in 70° weather.  And on top of that, she hasn’t even called me!  But enough of that, I’m just cranky.

My Stocking. An unusual treat…

I think I mentioned it before, but I don’t expect much from the holidays since my husband is a scrooge in the ‘it’s just another day’ sense, and I usually celebrate Yule lightly for my kids.

Since my daughter is living with me (temporarily!!) we got into the spirit, and I have loved having her here, doing the cookie thing, hanging lights, sending packages to people with the stuff we made.  My husband has repeatedly reminded me he wasn’t getting excited about the holiday.  I explained to him that when I was pregnant with my daughter (she is my youngest) I made a special wish for her; I wanted to enjoy it every day with every memory knowing that it was my last child so I would never get that ‘pang’ for another baby.  I have always had “wishcraft” as part of my psychic makeup, so I went ahead and made a wish plan for her.  My other two daughters had blue eyes and fair skin like their very german/dutch dad, so I wished for her to be dark eyed and olive skinned like my Syrian heritage.  I wished for her to be my little peanut, my baby I could savor for a long time so I would never get the ‘need’ for another one.

She was born 6 weeks early due to decreased amniotic fluid, and they were concerned about intra-uterine growth retardation and dwarfism since she was so tiny compared to where she should be on the growth chart.  They had to take her early, and were concerned about her lungs not being developed but didn’t have a choice because of the fluid issue.

When she was born (I stay awake and watch my cesarean sections) she was tiny, and the doctor said she was very tiny but perfect, no problems breathing at all, just super small and had the biggest brown eyes!!  She was just under 5 pounds.  When I picked her up my thumbs overlapped!  I was so afraid of her! 

It was before premie diapers, so we had to cut diapers down for a while.  She was so gorgeous, her hands always looked just like miniature adult hands– never like ‘baby hands’.  I enjoyed every day of her growing up as well as her sisters, and it was amazing to be able to purposefully store the memories of them and have the ability to do that.

She never crawled– she did this hand and foot thing where she got around before walking, but never crawled.  When she found something interesting she would stop, put her head on the floor and play with it, so she was a tripod playing with the item upside down!  It was hilarious and I did get a picture of it.

Back to my stocking.  I share lots of stories with Ash, from my childhood.  Lots of them are horrendous, and this holiday I have done my best to tell her about all the best memories I have regarding the holidays.  That was the best part of the year.  My mother was really outgoing,  and went all out for Christmas/New Year’s.

In the mid to late 60’s it was a crazy time, I was 7-9 years old, and we went to LOTS of parties.  One of my favorite parties was going to Milwaukee to spend time with my grandmother and uncle, and we would go to my uncle Gary’s party.  He was a friend of my uncle.  He had amazing parties!  One year someone gave me a gift bag and there were mother of pearl sticky earrings in there, the kind that look like you have pierced ears.  I thought they looked so cool!  He worked for Burlington Northern railroad, and there was pads and pens in there too, and I loved anything having to do with writing and drawing, so that kept me busy for hours.

One of the snacks he had at the party were something very unusual– peanut fish.  If you have never heard of this, peanut fish are the itty bitty tip of the inside of the peanut when you break it open, it is stuck to one side of the peanut and would be where the plant would grow if it were planted.  It pops out when you separate a peanut.

He would have JARS of these!  Can you imagine??  The taste was amazing!  So different than peanuts themselves. 

I told Ash about this, along with dozens of other stories.

When I got my stocking, she had taken the peanuts we were using for cookies and gone through them removing the ‘fish’, and put together a bag of them for my stocking.

Can you believe it??

What a kid.

And she still smells like baby powder we discovered the other day (which she always has) and her boyfriend and I were smelling her all over discovering where it was coming from, and it comes from right in front of her ears.  Isn’t that cool??

What a kid.  (she’s 24, but always my kid.)

Stencils and Cards

The Stencils area has many wonderful downloadable pictures that you can download into any graphic package you have, resize and print out yourself, then color and glitter for your decorating projects.  These are all copyright free.

The cards are made here and printed into .PDF files you can download and load to Adobe.  Print directly onto cardstock and fold in half, add your own touches with colors and glitter, and put into envelopes.  If you use lots of these cards you can find the envelopes easily on ebay.

If you are looking for a particular graphic or need a card made, email me and I can accomodate you.  I love to do graphics!

Vanessa

New Colors in December ‘08

Wow have we been busy!

Other than having to completely rebuild the new store and add credit card processing to the site, we have added 36 new colors and sizes of beads and glitters!  Some are filling in standard colors we have, and some are very new suprises..

Some of the favorites are Flamingo Pink, Marigold Orange, and the new Large Metallic Pink beads (1.25-1.55mm) 

We also now have Nuggets!  Clear large nuggets, and we are able to supply them in lots of colors transparent and metallic.  If you have any requests we will get them in, I just don’t want to go hog wild and but a bunch of colors until we know who wants what.

The large pearls (2.0mm) are beautiful, and we have large white beads as well.

Some interesting new colors that are suprising are  Terra Cotta, and two tones that combine regular color with some metallic sparkle: Sedona Sparkle, and several two tone pinks and roses.  They are awesome!

The large pearl glitter is one of the largest glitters we have ever carried, .90-1.40mm; it’s magical– and we have added Tangerine Dream to our .30-.40 sizes, which has formed a new “Fairy Line” so people who do fairy work can reference items that are best with the fairy type work.  There are other items in that category as well.

Check out the whole line, and don’t be afraid to email for samples!

Happy Holidays

What a ride, what a ride.

We don’t do the Christmas thing formally, since we aren’ t a close knit family and my kids are all over the country (except for the one that lives in my basement!)

I did almost all my gifts ordered online, which were minimal since we are below poverty level, and the rest we did cookies for people since we were able to pool our foodstamp cards and get supplies.

So;  just before Thanksgiving I decided to add credit card payments to my store.  I realized that many of my customers leave the store because I only took paypal.  I worked with my store company to add credit card processing and they got me directed in the right place, which was a great place.  Unfortunately the next week when I called back like they told me to, the next person told me that my account wasn’t set up for credit cards.  Not because I wasn’t paying for it…  But because I had signed up during some ‘promotion’ they had, and for some reason that precluded me from accepting cards outside of paypal.  *HUH*???

I know that there is much discontent in the online community Ebay and otherwise about the Paypal monopoly forcing their hand into things, but this really was a suprise to me, especially since this ’special deal’ thing they were talking about certainly didn’t offer up any savings or differences to me!

After dealing with several more ignorant people there I suggested their new logo should be ‘I don’t know why that person told you that.’  It seemed I heard that so much I wanted to scream!!!  Every time I started off with a new person, I got told something different and opposite, and I was working 15 hour days trying to get my store working.

I missed Thanksgiving altogether.  We did nothing.  That is, until 4pm when my daughter decided that she MUST have dinner.  She decided to go to the store to get stuff to make dinner.  I said you better get a thawed turkey, or we will be eating on Saturday!

She came back home in about 45 minutes, with all the trappings in tow; including a turkey she was so proud of, cause she found one that had the pop-up thingy.  I came out to check things over, and the turkey was frozen solid!!

She was bound and determined to make this dinner for us and her boyfriend.  I suggested she try to cut the pieces off, and put them in the pressure cooker.  I was under so much stress with the website that my fibromyalgia was flaring up like crazy, so I couldn’t do much to help her, so she wrestled in the hot sink with the turkey.  She got the skin off, and then the wings.  At this point I started taking pictures, it was too funny.  She called down her stepfather to help her get the legs apart, a jigsaw was discussed and I went back to the living room.  Later on She started layering things in the pressure cooker, and the breast meat was sliced off, and there was a ravaged carcass in my sink.  She did spice it perfectly, and then when it got going she started the potatoes (fresh), veggies, rolls. and pies from scratch– including one made of Splenda since I can’t eat sugar!! 

We ate before 10 pm…  It was a miracle, and we got the funniest pictures.

So back to my website, and I found out that not only can I not do anything about it, but I have  to re-do the entire site!!!  REALLY!!!  I have 1100 products!

I was able to move some things, but worked for 2.5 weeks 15 hour days in my ill state re-doing this all, while losing revenue.  My hsuband was so angry, but what could I do?  I had some problems, but I did find some techs that knew what they were doing to help me.

I had to open a new store technically, move everything over (mostly by hand and use the old store for reference) and then change the URL to point to the new store.

SO- the big day comes.  I know the credit card program works, cause that has a terminal I can test without the store.  I get it all put together the way I want it, and I call in telling yet ANOTHER person the whole story (they say they keep records, but only about a third of the info ever makes it in there) and explain what we need to do.  Just point the URL from the old name to the new one.  No big deal.

So about 4 hours go by.  I still can’t bring up the store online, and it seems fishy to me.  I call back, and talk to… can we say it all together?  SOMEONE NEW…  I explain what was done earlier, and he says… (this is good)

“oh, that was Julian, and he deleted the stores.”

Crying and swearing ensued mixed with yelling, sleep deprivation as well and I had no idea what day it was anymore.  I don’t know if I have ever been so angry, certainly not as a customer.

The person I talked to actually got it straightened out, found everything, got things online and I actually processed a test order within 2 hours.  He was my hero!  I called my daughter over to show her the new store, and no site was found!!

I called (again… do you see a pattern?) and that person saw a problem with the URL issue, and said it would take about 36 hours to be sure it was fixed.  It took about 30. 

So I was out of commission about 3 weeks, and crazy that whole time.  I came out of my fog around the 12th, and that is when we started the baking center…  I haven’t been so busy in my life in ages!

glassglitterandbeads.com is back online, and has taken all but 1 order in credit cards.  The dumped carts are much less, and I am thrilled!  Orders are way down like they tend to be in December, but who is thinking of crafting this time of year??

It’s Christmas now, and we are going up to my husband’s family’s farm for the day.  If he isn’t still sick.  He is a bah-humbug, won’t do anything for the holiday.  I get him a few presents but he won’t get me anything, he feels it’s hypocritical.  I just feel in the spirit.  Plus my daughter and her boyfriend are living here and I’m more in the spirit that usual.

Spose I should go to bed if I intend to get up and find a store open to get salad stuff to take up there. 

Happy Holidays to you all!

Now my daughter wants to make plans for making New Year’s cookies…

Yikes….

Vanessa

Top of the World

This morning’s song is Top of the World by the Carpenters.  Technically just the opposite, so if this is the message I’m a little confused.  Maybe it is a message to look at what is available in the world.  Then again, maybe I’m just tuned into someones setting of KEGL this morning, the oldies station.

It does remind me of something my first husband used to say.  He used to say he was ‘way up here (holding his hand up in the air)’ and everyone else was ‘way down here (much further beneath him)’ and he was waiting for everyone to catch up to him.  We participated in a conference about 20 years ago and were the study of Carl Whittaker, a world famous psychiatrist and family behaviorist.  When my husband said this the doctor just tilted his head a bit and asked him what he was afraid of.  He also brought out his childish behavior that he never discussed in regular therapy before, and his suicidal threats that he said were all in my head.  Dr. Whitaker was a marvel.  I have the interview on tape, and even though he passed on several years ago I can never get enough of his work.  I wish I would have thanked him more profoundly that day.  Watching the tape recently while converting it to DVD was interesting.  Three marriages later, all the kids are grown and gone, I did get my day and my life back from him and harbor no ill feelings anymore.  Just recently I watched a behavior boundries tape that helped me decoded attacks from other people and how to handle them, and I can even say I could spend time with him now.  I feel sad for him for missing out on the best years, the girls growing up, while he was busy being such a child himself.  I treasure every moment with them, and it shows in ways I see them in action today.  I see the little things I did for them they do for their own families, and I know that it made a big difference to them.  I see them as strong women who refuse to let men take advantage of them or let anyone hurt them, and I wish I had their courage when I was their age.

Pain Management Frustration

There is a brilliant procedure for back pain these days.  I have degenerative disc disease and severe arthritis from between my shoulders all the way to my tailbone; I have lived in severe pain for years.

I’ve been on doping drugs for most of that time as well.  Now they have a procedure where they insert a probe into the area of your back and send electrical impulses to interrupt the pain receptors.  It isn’t permanent, it can last for about 3 to 9 months, but it’s a miracle.  It also works for the sciatic nerve problem!!

So…  I had this done on my upper back where the pain is so bad it hurts to take a breathe.  When you are in that kind of pain it is exhausting.  My lower back hurts too, but you lose track of which is more important… you know?

When they did my upper back I finally slept through the night for most of the night for the first time in so long.  I felt like I came out of a fog, and I could get up and not be knocked out on drugs all the time.  It was amazing.  The sciatic nerve block has been a blessing to be able to walk again, but this was amazing.

They were trying to lower my drugs, and I kept saying my back hurt too bad for that; they thought my Fibromyalgia was why I wanted the drugs.  I said heck no!  I manage my Fibro just fine, drugs don’t help that very much.  Some days are great, some aren’t, you just learn to manage.

They identified the area of my lower back that was still keeping me up during the night (not all night anymore, but waking me up).  She did a steroid injection, and it was AMAZING!!!  That was a week ago today.

For the first time in 30 years I had no back pain.  I slept through the night except for one night when the cat was cold and kept tunneling under the covers until I kicked her out.

I woke up VIBRATING I was so energized.  My husband said he was getting a contact buzz!  No coffee, no extra drugs, I was wonder woman!!  I couldn’t sit still; I had to keep working on projects I had put off forever….  My husband was a little afraid, he had never seen me with this much energy since we have known each other (8 years).

The steroids wore off after about 4 days which was annoying but expected, and then I had to make an appointment to do the more permanent one.  What I didn’t expect was the upper back procedure wearing off at the same time!!!  It wears off in about 6 hours…. seriously, it’s weird.  During the night last night I woke up and thought my back was on fire…  And then realized what it was.  I was so upset and depressed, but thought hey, if they are going to be doing my lower back shortly, they could do the upper back at the same time and we would be cool!

NO GO.  The doctor won’t do two areas at the same time.  I’m so upset!!!  I am in a really depressed state today.  The nurse I love over there and really advocates for me is working on getting things taken care of, but I feel like, shit, you give me a taste of the pain free life, but I can’t have it all at once. 

And I broke a small piece off a back molar chewing on a lifesaver the other night.  Just one more reminder of how crappy things are.

Matthew is in school, so money is non-existent, and every few days I get a loan/grant update that is lower and lower for the semester.  So much for a new computer…  Maybe we will make bills!

Carmichael Picture

Carmichael Picture

This is a picture that was taken by a friend of my father. He was just out taken some property photos; this was one of the ohotos in the middle. He brought it to my father to check out since he is a very advanced hobby photographer.

My father looked at the negatives, the papers, all the ways that something could have been done to the picture, and couldn’t find anyting out of the ordinary.

He brought the pic to me one day, and I though it was fascinating; The person, the seemingly open hole in the earth with the orbs flying out (or in), and what was with the cake in the background?

One day we went up to the property to see hat I could get from the area. The impressions I got were simple but strong; there was a man who had lived there and was ther most of his life his way. It seemed he was rather slow mentally, and lived with part of his family in that area. I saw him walking the road as he frequently did carrying a bucket. He was hit by some type if vehicle not sure what type. I knew he was very attached to family, and still came around on holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.