Getting off to a shaky start.

Welcome to September, all those who have tried to get to the blog since it was set up (I thought) since August.  That’s what happens when you have too many irons in the fire.  I haven’t checked it in a while, obviously not posting, and the entire folder was deleted from my server.  They upgraded many things (with some really cool stuff) but it also messed up my email account on Jewelryjam.com, so as always, more excitement in a bright new shiny package.

The brochure for my Psychic work is finally done, much to the delight of my husband who watched me in angst every night struggling with 5 random notebooks (not computers, actual bound notebooks) trying to combine all my thoughts that would fill 30 pages and get them into a single brochure.  He was overjoyed until I said “Now I just have to add all the extended information on the website”.  His joy was cut nearly as short as mine…  but we did smile briefly.  And I did order some kick-a$$ business cards with foil on them and appointment info on the back, cause I thought I was worth it ;).

Getting this blog started is challenging since I have so much going on in my head, so I guess it’s a good way to clear my head.  I have been so leery of pissing people off lately (the past 6 months has been a nightmare with friends and family when I speak my mind and the truth) I have become a hermit, and now am questioning every thought these days.  Should I take a shower? Should I wait until tomorrow?  What if I take one and the phone rings?  Why am I obsessing?  (Of course my phone just rang, lol).  Non stop.  My husband leaves home alot, used to be just the 3 or 4 days a month, now he is only home that often.

I also struggled over what to write on the blog.  What if a client reads this, will they not want to come to me for a reading because they think I am not together enough to help them?  Well, most of the mental health industry has their share of problems.  I have the edge of being psychic, so at least I have my own entertainment factor…  Things happen that are very unique to me that keep me on my toes, and I think if I didn’t have that in my life right now I would be in sad shape.  I wish I had more clients so I could have more to take my mind off my own crap and be able to help other people; sometimes I am up all night long unable to sleep (chronic pain and things) and I just sit here with my head and bad TV, delving deeper into places I know I shouldn’t be hanging out, but not know what else to do.

Today I was thinking about that, like I said, whether or not I felt like I thought my clients should know that side of me, and I thought; sure.  I would want to know if my doctor was having a hard time.  In fact I do have a doctor that is going through a rough patch, and I admire her input more since I recognize her as more ‘human’ than trying to be above me.  I still recognize our differences and appropriate roles, as well as confidentiality, but it feels good to know I’m not alone…

There are support groups for lots of things, but I have posted a few times to them and actually been slammed by people on them, probably so they could feel better about themselves or whatever their issues are, but it was surely not what I was looking for!