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Archive for September, 2007

I have no idea what is going on these days.

The planets are misaligned or something; my life is quickly approaching the worst point it’s ever been at. All I can do at this point is immerse myself in the websites for now just to keep my mind off of everything else. I can’t sleep at night, things are so full in my brain I’m afraid stuff is going to start leaking out of my ears.

Today the Elemental Runes page has been updated; I suppose many people go there thinking it’s a gaming site, that’s why it gets so many hits, but oh well. It also had the old owl-lady email address on it, so I was not receiving any emails if anyone did try to contact me.

Now I’m working on the stone meaning site, and hopefully getting some ordering up on that page.

Then projects and ideas updated on the glass glitter site.

If there is any soul who actually reads this and wants something updated or written email me.

If anyone had a job such as having their websites updated periodically, or data entry done, or graphic design done, email me too.

We are about to lose our house (again), and it SUCKS. I hate my life right now.

I hate being disabled and not being able to go out and get a real job. I hate that there is so much that I have to offer and I could do so much from my home but I have no idea where to start looking without all the bullshit schemes, and I just don’t have the time or energy for that.

I’m also family-less, so if there is a rich person (or just comfortable) who is looking to adopt a fairly humorous extremely talented 46 year old girl I’m here for you.

I have no life since I have problems getting out of the house, so if you are one of the brilliant broken housebound forgotten by society feel free to call me, we can talk. 608-397-7495. I have to do something or I will go crazy here.

Last night I had a horrendous pain in my leg, the leg that usually doesn’t hurt; I thought it could be a blood clot, and I was hoping it was; I laid down and tried to shake it loose so it could knock loose and get to my brain so things could just be over with.

If you’ve ever seen the movie “the Snake Pit”, I’m down there screaming with her, but she gets out and they keep getting the paperwork wrong to be able to get me out. (yes I’ve taken my meds today.)

I’m thinking of having a half price sale and just getting rid of all the glitter and beads, and closing that business; I have had 4 orders in the past month, and I cannot believe that I have such a great product, a fabulous website and sales are not better. Something is wrong with that. It’s as if there is a team just developed to do whatever they can to create failure for whatever I put my energy into;

I know that sounds paranoid, but just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

I haven’t taken a picture in months, which is so rare, but you can only take so many pictures of your feet… I’ve plateaued now at just over 200, of course, I can’t seem to break 200, but I have lost over 150 pounds in just under a year. That does feel good, wearing bluejeans with a zipper instead of strechy pants.

Now I’m just blabbering. I’m so tired, I just passed out from exhaustion (emotional and mental) last night, and woke at 3am, so I’m a little punchy.

I just got a phone call from my massage therpist, and I was ready for them to say they had to cancel my appointment today. It would be just perfect for the way things are going this week; but they just want me to come early, so I must go.

Love, Light and Sparkles for now,

Vanessa

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Welcome to September, all those who have tried to get to the blog since it was set up (I thought) since August.  That’s what happens when you have too many irons in the fire.  I haven’t checked it in a while, obviously not posting, and the entire folder was deleted from my server.  They upgraded many things (with some really cool stuff) but it also messed up my email account on Jewelryjam.com, so as always, more excitement in a bright new shiny package.

The brochure for my Psychic work is finally done, much to the delight of my husband who watched me in angst every night struggling with 5 random notebooks (not computers, actual bound notebooks) trying to combine all my thoughts that would fill 30 pages and get them into a single brochure.  He was overjoyed until I said “Now I just have to add all the extended information on the website”.  His joy was cut nearly as short as mine…  but we did smile briefly.  And I did order some kick-a$$ business cards with foil on them and appointment info on the back, cause I thought I was worth it ;).

Getting this blog started is challenging since I have so much going on in my head, so I guess it’s a good way to clear my head.  I have been so leery of pissing people off lately (the past 6 months has been a nightmare with friends and family when I speak my mind and the truth) I have become a hermit, and now am questioning every thought these days.  Should I take a shower? Should I wait until tomorrow?  What if I take one and the phone rings?  Why am I obsessing?  (Of course my phone just rang, lol).  Non stop.  My husband leaves home alot, used to be just the 3 or 4 days a month, now he is only home that often.

I also struggled over what to write on the blog.  What if a client reads this, will they not want to come to me for a reading because they think I am not together enough to help them?  Well, most of the mental health industry has their share of problems.  I have the edge of being psychic, so at least I have my own entertainment factor…  Things happen that are very unique to me that keep me on my toes, and I think if I didn’t have that in my life right now I would be in sad shape.  I wish I had more clients so I could have more to take my mind off my own crap and be able to help other people; sometimes I am up all night long unable to sleep (chronic pain and things) and I just sit here with my head and bad TV, delving deeper into places I know I shouldn’t be hanging out, but not know what else to do.

Today I was thinking about that, like I said, whether or not I felt like I thought my clients should know that side of me, and I thought; sure.  I would want to know if my doctor was having a hard time.  In fact I do have a doctor that is going through a rough patch, and I admire her input more since I recognize her as more ‘human’ than trying to be above me.  I still recognize our differences and appropriate roles, as well as confidentiality, but it feels good to know I’m not alone…

There are support groups for lots of things, but I have posted a few times to them and actually been slammed by people on them, probably so they could feel better about themselves or whatever their issues are, but it was surely not what I was looking for!

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