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Archive for November, 2013

Pain for the holidays

Wow.  Nearly daily migraines, and finally whoever is a chain smoker that sets them off leaves for the holiday and I get hit with a 3 day Trigeminal Neuralgia attack.

Scared to death about how long it would last; waking up this morning with no pain in my face was such a relief!  So excited!  One of those days my head is filled with ideas and my body is too tired to do anything.

Traditional day after Thanksgiving marathon of something, chose Dr. Who today in honor of the 50th anniversary.

I  get a new series of Botox next Thursday for the migraines, I hope it helps; last time it helped minimize the pain.  Nothing will really help except getting out of this smoky apartment.

My face and temple on the left still hurts, I only had a few hours of relief which is about normal each month.   I did enjoy them while they lasted 🙂

Been really annoyed at the house lately.  With the possible permanent damage to my brain from the TN the prognosis is not good for my personal life; psychically I do great since it’s not my own thoughts and memories.

My psychic world has increased since the ability to hold my block up is weakened.  Stopping at the store for a few things ended up in a $70 shopping visit with items I don’t really use; this hasn’t happened in 20 years.  Got home and just marveled in the weirdness of it all.  Definitely not leaving the house during December!

So can’t remember my own stuff, but receiving other peoples thoughts and feelings with no problem.  Unfortunately this is the one thing most terrifying to me always; losing my memories.  Now it seems to be happening.  I have a special therapist to learn to deal with this issue.  Post it notes, voice recorders, phone calendars, getting out frustration, etc.

My daughter helps remind me of things, and the short term memory is much worse than long term.  I should be writing down things so I have them written down for the future, but where do you start?  Quick, write your past…  Especially a past like mine.

The hardest part is not multi-tasking.  Not doing more than one thing at a time.  That’s how I’ve worked my whole life, and I’ll even do two other things if I’m on hold on the phone.  Not multi-task??  I understand it’s where the biggest mistakes and forgetting comes from, but how boring and frustrating; so much time wasted just sitting doing one thing.  It’s making me crazy.

Between dementia testing and testing if medication is the problem I’d rather try the medication option first.  Having dementia at 52 is a diagnosis I can put off for as long as possible.

Filling glass glitter and bead orders takes longer these days checking over and over like someone with OCD; just easier than sending out the wrong items to people.  I feel stupid.

The next two weeks will be so busy, and the house is a wreck from the past few weeks of mass orders.  The process of ideas floating in my head wanting to get things done in my head but focusing on the task at hand is still hard.

But all in all, this week I am grateful for the person below me being on vacation and my apartment being smoke free so I can breathe this week!!  What a nice change it’s been for me.  All in all a good week.

 

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So I have mentioned the 5th dimention now, and you might be asking, what is that?   Well, I’m not completely clear myself.  All I know is that all of us with hypersensitivity to the earth and the people around us, especially lightworkers, are being taken to a new level at an alarmingly slow rate.  I’m a poor source to ask since I don’t understand it completely myself, all I know is that it started in 2000, and and that was exactly when I started getting severely ill.  Increasingly getting more ill all these years has been a mystery, and if it’s for a reason like this okay, but let’s get to it, or clear up the reason, or at least take away the screaming daily migraines, okay?

There are quite a few web sites on this and some are easier to comprehend than others, but I have found a few that describe the exact thing happening to other people especially with things disappearing and getting lost “in between worlds” feeling like they are floating or lost at times.  That is the hardest part, the unknown and the weirdness/pain.

 

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Okay.  I’m based in science, and always a skeptic.  I can’t argue with what happens to me or what abilities I have and resolved that a long time ago.

When I started getting very sick it was a mystery, and has been for years.  Now with all the talk of the “ascension” for lightworkers to the 5th dimension I am trying to resolve it in my head.  Everything likes up the more I read the stranger the timing and coincidences.   Hard to explain to my neurologist that my migraines are a result of my transition to the 5th dimention…  Hello, psych?

So, as things rapidly change and get worse trying to keep my cool, all through Murcury Retrograde (again, based in science, but can’t help fighting facts.)

This week has been the most bizarre week ever.  I know things will move faster and faster toward the end of Dec, but now it’s getting scary.  Twice now I have gone to take medication (I take several for pain and headache prevention, etc) I walk away to get a piece of bread, 8 steps, and when I get back they are GONE.  I live alone,  super tiny itty bitty apartment.  Not like I could have left them in the conservatory of the left wing of the mansion… lol.  8 steps.  Bread.  Back to coffee table, GONE.  I could see one or two even, if the cat got curious which she never does, she has no interest or thumbs.  I searched the table, floor, trash, kitchen, bathroom, places I couldn’t even have gone.  Checked pockets, picked up every item on the table, took the couch apart.  There were 12 pills.  Not 1.  Not 1 of them at all.  How can this be twice?????

Now today I checked something on my computer when I woke up at 3am, went back to sleep, and when I woke up my mouse is gone.  It’s a remote mouse.  I’ve done the same routine; it always sits in the same place on the coffee table;  checked everywhere on and around the table, trash, under and in the couch, under and around the table, kitchen, bathroom, every conceivable place you can imagine.  GONE.  GONE..  Whoever (whatever) took my remote mouse took the mouse and a rechargeable battery, lol.  I had to go buy a new mouse.

Makes me afraid to go to sleep to see what will be missing in the morning!!!

And why are these things disappearing, and where are they going???  Couldn’t they just leave a note with a message of what they are trying to tell me???

I have a car bill to pay off, I can’t keep replacing what they are taking!!

 

Frustrated.

 

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Update

Finally have a good handle on my Trigeminal Neuralgia, which has affected my headaches and migraines for a long time.  Horrible disease, but controllable for some, thankfully me!

Back to doing readings and they are going so well.

I find that people tend to get more tense as the holidays approach;  Relatives, money, events.

Remember that this is a temporary time for you, here in this place.  If you don’t get something done no one will take away your birthday.  This season celebrates so much, involving people, seasons, faith; all those things are not material.

 

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