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RELAX!

I absolutely believe that if you are either not ready or comfortable to get a reading after scheduling one, then we just don’t.  Also it’s understood that just because I know me, you have no idea who I am.  Do it my self on occassion when I have anxiety.   Used to do it lots more.  Sometimes it’s just the way you have to do it.

Getting a reading is something you do when you are having stress in your life, so worrying about the reading shouldn’t be adding to the stress!!  I’m sending you good thoughts, love, light, and random acts of chocolate into your life no matter what.

Even if we have a reading scheduled I’m working on other things with my business that need to be done, or crocheting, reading, etc…  That’s one reason I leave it up to you to call.  It gives you the decision.  I have plenty to do if you don’t call, and just keep on going hoping you are ok, but I would never call and invade your life.  If you don’t reach out to me and still are having stress and issues I hope you reach out to someone and if we meet again it’s in better times.

SO; please never feel like I would be feeling any ill will if you cancel or don’t call after making an appointment.  This part of me that works with other people is very unique in my life and I get much more out of it when I do talk to you, but it’s just not in my nature to harbor anything but good will and best wishes to anyone for anything, just ask my ex(es), lol.

If you hurt one of my kids we will have a different talk I guarantee it, other than that we are good.

V.

Had lots of time to think lately.  Usually not a good thing for me, I like to be busy at least mentally.   But with the cold and the weather it’s just a blah kind of month.

I realized today how off it’s been really.  Having the flu is bad enough, but the before and after parts are all bad too; the prelude when you don’t know it’s coming on, you just feel funny; days like today where you think it’s good but it hits again.  These are my ‘blind’ days.  Seems all of January has been mostly blind.

I don’t talk much usually.  People have commented about my being quiet, stuck-up or even ‘intimidating’, lol.  It’s just that I don’t have to talk.  Like the 5 year old kid who never spoke a word until one day he said ‘my oatmeal is cold’; his parents were amazed; he said ‘well, everything has been fine up until now’.

Things just come to me when talking to people, so there is less to say.  Until weeks like this.

Then the babbling starts.  Cause I have no idea what people are thinking or feeling, and I’m shooting in the dark; and I sound like a freaking idiot.

Talking to everyone that normally would be a short conversation ends up with me stepping out of my body yelling at myself to SHUT UP!!! but I can’t!  Every emotion is asking what, when, how, why…. all at the same time.

Maybe I do sound like someone that has suddenly just lost a sense.  Glad to know it’s short term though, for now anyway.

Scam artists are making my blood boil.  How can I get the word out there louder?  Stronger? Anyone reading this blog that has a way to spread the word wider please let me know.

Scam artists may or may not have some degree of abilities to suck you in, but once any dollar amount over $100 is mentioned, second readings, or any of the following: candles, objects, crystals, affecting other people, calling you, seeing black clouds, black auras, asking for gifts, gift cards, money orders, talking about anything scary or negative to scare you, predicting specific events or dates for people to call (and telling you not to answer), asking for photos or treasured mementos….

RUN.  RUN FAST.  DON’T ANSWER WHEN THEY CALL, and they will, I guarantee it.

Real psychics dislike the term psychic since it infers expectations like this now.  We are preferring Intuitive or something like that; no one thinks about why it’s so hard to find a real and ethical Intuitive Reader.  Let me tell you.

REAL Readers have had a very hard life.  Imagine having things in your head about everyone around you and most people you meet, and learning it’s a bad thing to tell people it’s a bad thing since no one understands what you have.  Imagine having no one to ask any questions about what you are experiencing once you understand what it is you are feeling and seeing.

Imagine getting the life nearly beat out of you most of your life because your mother insists you are the devil and she is a raging evil alcholic who is really afraid of you but doesn’t want you to know what she is really thinking.

Imagine divorcing every husband you have had since they just couldn’t stand you knowing things about them all the time, or because you got so much attention.

Or best of all, the physical toll it takes on your body.  True sensitives and intuitives have horrible physical problems and migraines because of the energy drain it takes on their bodies that the doctors just can’t fix or even understand; leaving you fighting for disability and ending up with no life to live but fighting for survival because you slip through the cracks of the government system after working hard all your life and making too much money to get any help even though you now live far below poverty.

Now go back to the phone call you make to the ‘psychic’; are they thinking of you, or of their own needs?

I have rarely shared aspects of my life with anyone, but it sickens me to see people who are in dire straights even worse than I am losing money paying these people stealing food from their mouths.  I talk to people in distress all the time who are in distress after being told they are cursed now unless they come up with a thousand dollars.

I’m pissed off.

And hungry.  And still just worried about the person on the other end of the phone, not my own pain.  Because that’s what my path is.

Time to see if someone put something new in my fridge again.

New Year, New Thoughts.

Happy New Year!

Best wishes to everyone on a year full of hopes and dreams filled to the brim; since that is what life is, choices made, wishes cast to the universe to bring back to you 3 fold.

It’s also a time to look back and see what you make of the past year.  Time passed so you have time to remove the emotion of events and see them for what they really are.  Were those bad times really bad, or blessings in disguise?  Were those good times treasured enough to have for ages?  Everything is all in the way you take it.  Just like the Twilight Show that is so memorable of the people in heaven and hell; they are actually in the same room.  An old couple watching endless movies of their past, in heaven; the rowdy biker stuck in the same room trapped in his version of hell.

New Year’s Resolutions? No, hate them.  I tend to have random resolutions.  If you force yourself or someone else to do something it won’t happen just since you will resent it eventually.  Also if you have a resolution and want to make a change you can do it over and over until you make that change, while I do like the little green Jedi, the sentiment of “Do or not do, there is no try” doesn’t work for me.

Procrastination is my weakness.  Worst thing in my life for a long time.  So hard to just relax and take time without thinking of all the things that need to be done, then too tired of thinking to do them.  If there could just be some synchronization of the energy of thinking and the movement of doing…  Sounds so silly, and yet in the whole existence of the massive changes in life it’s the one constant.

Now other people look at my life and marvel at all the things that have been done, and are done, even with the limitations I have.  While still feeling it’s never enough.  I scoff at the people who say I should write a book since I think my life is boring; maybe it’s just life lived at a different speed.

Looking back at this year and the past 4 years it’s been one long blur; getting used to being in a new phase of my life, moving toward a new spiritual awakening that is happening and affecting so many people.  Moving from the material to the spiritual.  Once my piles of stuff made me feel safe, now they just make me feel choking.

Pain for the holidays

Wow.  Nearly daily migraines, and finally whoever is a chain smoker that sets them off leaves for the holiday and I get hit with a 3 day Trigeminal Neuralgia attack.

Scared to death about how long it would last; waking up this morning with no pain in my face was such a relief!  So excited!  One of those days my head is filled with ideas and my body is too tired to do anything.

Traditional day after Thanksgiving marathon of something, chose Dr. Who today in honor of the 50th anniversary.

I  get a new series of Botox next Thursday for the migraines, I hope it helps; last time it helped minimize the pain.  Nothing will really help except getting out of this smoky apartment.

My face and temple on the left still hurts, I only had a few hours of relief which is about normal each month.   I did enjoy them while they lasted 🙂

Been really annoyed at the house lately.  With the possible permanent damage to my brain from the TN the prognosis is not good for my personal life; psychically I do great since it’s not my own thoughts and memories.

My psychic world has increased since the ability to hold my block up is weakened.  Stopping at the store for a few things ended up in a $70 shopping visit with items I don’t really use; this hasn’t happened in 20 years.  Got home and just marveled in the weirdness of it all.  Definitely not leaving the house during December!

So can’t remember my own stuff, but receiving other peoples thoughts and feelings with no problem.  Unfortunately this is the one thing most terrifying to me always; losing my memories.  Now it seems to be happening.  I have a special therapist to learn to deal with this issue.  Post it notes, voice recorders, phone calendars, getting out frustration, etc.

My daughter helps remind me of things, and the short term memory is much worse than long term.  I should be writing down things so I have them written down for the future, but where do you start?  Quick, write your past…  Especially a past like mine.

The hardest part is not multi-tasking.  Not doing more than one thing at a time.  That’s how I’ve worked my whole life, and I’ll even do two other things if I’m on hold on the phone.  Not multi-task??  I understand it’s where the biggest mistakes and forgetting comes from, but how boring and frustrating; so much time wasted just sitting doing one thing.  It’s making me crazy.

Between dementia testing and testing if medication is the problem I’d rather try the medication option first.  Having dementia at 52 is a diagnosis I can put off for as long as possible.

Filling glass glitter and bead orders takes longer these days checking over and over like someone with OCD; just easier than sending out the wrong items to people.  I feel stupid.

The next two weeks will be so busy, and the house is a wreck from the past few weeks of mass orders.  The process of ideas floating in my head wanting to get things done in my head but focusing on the task at hand is still hard.

But all in all, this week I am grateful for the person below me being on vacation and my apartment being smoke free so I can breathe this week!!  What a nice change it’s been for me.  All in all a good week.

 

So I have mentioned the 5th dimention now, and you might be asking, what is that?   Well, I’m not completely clear myself.  All I know is that all of us with hypersensitivity to the earth and the people around us, especially lightworkers, are being taken to a new level at an alarmingly slow rate.  I’m a poor source to ask since I don’t understand it completely myself, all I know is that it started in 2000, and and that was exactly when I started getting severely ill.  Increasingly getting more ill all these years has been a mystery, and if it’s for a reason like this okay, but let’s get to it, or clear up the reason, or at least take away the screaming daily migraines, okay?

There are quite a few web sites on this and some are easier to comprehend than others, but I have found a few that describe the exact thing happening to other people especially with things disappearing and getting lost “in between worlds” feeling like they are floating or lost at times.  That is the hardest part, the unknown and the weirdness/pain.

 

Okay.  I’m based in science, and always a skeptic.  I can’t argue with what happens to me or what abilities I have and resolved that a long time ago.

When I started getting very sick it was a mystery, and has been for years.  Now with all the talk of the “ascension” for lightworkers to the 5th dimension I am trying to resolve it in my head.  Everything likes up the more I read the stranger the timing and coincidences.   Hard to explain to my neurologist that my migraines are a result of my transition to the 5th dimention…  Hello, psych?

So, as things rapidly change and get worse trying to keep my cool, all through Murcury Retrograde (again, based in science, but can’t help fighting facts.)

This week has been the most bizarre week ever.  I know things will move faster and faster toward the end of Dec, but now it’s getting scary.  Twice now I have gone to take medication (I take several for pain and headache prevention, etc) I walk away to get a piece of bread, 8 steps, and when I get back they are GONE.  I live alone,  super tiny itty bitty apartment.  Not like I could have left them in the conservatory of the left wing of the mansion… lol.  8 steps.  Bread.  Back to coffee table, GONE.  I could see one or two even, if the cat got curious which she never does, she has no interest or thumbs.  I searched the table, floor, trash, kitchen, bathroom, places I couldn’t even have gone.  Checked pockets, picked up every item on the table, took the couch apart.  There were 12 pills.  Not 1.  Not 1 of them at all.  How can this be twice?????

Now today I checked something on my computer when I woke up at 3am, went back to sleep, and when I woke up my mouse is gone.  It’s a remote mouse.  I’ve done the same routine; it always sits in the same place on the coffee table;  checked everywhere on and around the table, trash, under and in the couch, under and around the table, kitchen, bathroom, every conceivable place you can imagine.  GONE.  GONE..  Whoever (whatever) took my remote mouse took the mouse and a rechargeable battery, lol.  I had to go buy a new mouse.

Makes me afraid to go to sleep to see what will be missing in the morning!!!

And why are these things disappearing, and where are they going???  Couldn’t they just leave a note with a message of what they are trying to tell me???

I have a car bill to pay off, I can’t keep replacing what they are taking!!

 

Frustrated.

 

Update

Finally have a good handle on my Trigeminal Neuralgia, which has affected my headaches and migraines for a long time.  Horrible disease, but controllable for some, thankfully me!

Back to doing readings and they are going so well.

I find that people tend to get more tense as the holidays approach;  Relatives, money, events.

Remember that this is a temporary time for you, here in this place.  If you don’t get something done no one will take away your birthday.  This season celebrates so much, involving people, seasons, faith; all those things are not material.

 

Being disabled is a completely incomprehensible way to live.  When others here in my neighborhood meet we talk about what we do now, and what we did in our “before life”; you actually have to grieve the loss of your old life and build a new one around the way life works now (or doesn’t).

Fortunately the problems to deal with have been mostly physical; back, body, etc until this month.  I have lost the entire month of June due to Occipital Neuropathy; the right side of your head and face are gripped in such severe pain it can make you crazy; no painkillers can touch it since it’s nerve related, and being one of the few that the numbing block didn’t help, all they can do is keep me on muscle relaxants and rest.

For 10 years I’ve dealt with everything else, but this is relentless; you can’t think, function, remember what day it is…  after a month and no relief and no hope of any change it’s really an amazing perspective on life I’ve never had before…

I’m Back…

Yes, I’m back!

I’ve been out of commission for two months now with non stop headaches/migraines,   not sleeping, back pain, and a whiny menopausal cat.

After fighting for weeks with this cycle, testing sleep places and patterns, and sleeping with a water bottle to attack the whiny cat at 4am, the cycle has finally ended!

My pain doctor did steroid injections into my pain areas of my back, which alleviated the pain that was keeping me from breathing correctly for nearly 3 years.  Funny how breathing is SUCH a big thing.  I came home and immediately fell asleep for 5 hours straight.  Up a couple hours, then slept another 5!  Usually if I sleep more than 3 waking up is a certain migraine; wednesday morning, no migraine!

Now with a fresh brain, and being able to breathe, the thought occured to me that maybe the cat was up yelling half the night because she thought I should be up playing with her instead of sleeping since there are so many lights on.  I turned all the lights off that night, and…  NO SCREAMING CAT!

Can I take it?  Breathing, minimal pain, sleeping in bed instead of the couch AND the cat not yelling at me all night??  I have a new life.

I know it’s only been two days, but hope lives strong, and even though I am rocking a full moon headache tonight I don’t mind, since that is something that happens every month.

Crossing fingers that this lasts.