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It’s been how long?

Holy cow. 3 years coming up I’ve been in Oshkosh, life had changed so much.

Finally getting my art drive back. Organizing more. It’s been over 10 years since I’ve felt calm and safe, mostly.

Now after 3 years of evaluating life, dealing with fear, fighting the input I carry around, finally receiving correct diagnoses’ and on the road to recovery, I’m feeling more whole than I ever remember feeling.

Overloaded with input lately is a big issue.  Media, gossip, people’s enhanced energy… These things are so hard to control.

Cutting back on it all is similar to a diet, and I’m not great with any kind of organized cutting back of anything.

When I tell myself ‘no more of this for a while’, 5 minutes later it’s all I want to do!

 

Getting Settled.

Finally getting settled in my new place.  It;s been a lot harder than I thought, but a great move.

Movers never showed up, my knight in shining armor (brother in law) rescued me and got me moved, and I went to a new city across the state to a new apartment I have never seen in the night.  Knowing no one in the city.  Sounds crazy to most people, but that’s how I have always lived my life by trusting my instincts and jumping without a net.  Doesn’t always work the best, but for the most part it’s worked.

Getting health care sorted out has been a mountain of paperwork that I can’t get my hands on, and it’s catch 22; no appointment until I get the records, and the records they say they keep sending but they never get here.  Lying outright to me, and it’s just frustrating.

Since my migraines are out of control right now I am taking a break from doing readings for now.  Just have no energy to do day to day things, and feel like I would be selling people short trying to do an accurate reading for now.

Lots is changing since I made the change here; what I want to do, how I see things, what I want from life.  The new hospital here already has figured out two reasons I have been in such pain for years, and instead of just feeding me pain pills and shots they have identified what the problems are.  Amazing.  The difference between a decent hospital and a great one.

Everything here has been amazingly different and great.  Now if the migraines will just cut back to even half I could function!

Happy Summer!

Vanessa

 

10 days to go…

I’m still sorting and packing everything.

Stones and crystals, glitter and sand. beads and books.

How on earth did all this stuff fit in this teeny apartment?

I’m selling the air conditioner since my new place has central air.  My upstairs neighbor came over this morning to ask about it.  At 7am on a Sunday morning.

He came in and decided to take it, but looked around in slow disbelief; asked if my apartment was the same layout as his.  I knew it was since there had been a few times I’d seen his briefly.  He just kept saying there was so much stuff; slowly, and kind of creepy.  After he left it made me feel like there was something wrong with me that I have all these things in my home and live like this.  A wall of organized boxes of craft supplies, jewelry making supplies and stones, overflow of glitter and beads…  Work table and small tile table that should be an eating table but right now is a catch all; and all morning it kept ringing in my ears.

“There’s so much stuff…”

Ended up just taking a nap cause I felt overwhelmed about where to start again since it felt like there was nowhere to start.  After waking up and shaking off the morning thing it’s getting better, and realizing what I already got rid of is gigantic; but damn… Really threw me for a loop.  I know I live a bohemian life style where it’s just me in an art studio, but to get someone’s reaction like that who has never been exposed to it made me feel like a Hoarders show candidate.

Interesting realization

Watched a series yesterday on Netflix while I was packing yesterday.  It’s called something like Marriage Boot Camp, for couples that were on the show Bridezillas, who are now having rocky marriages.

Yes, one of my secret pleasures is trash tv.

Anyway, on the 3rd or 4th episode one of the counselors was telling people how she perceives them.  They looked a bit shocked; it was as if someone had peeked into their soul and exposed their secrets.

Not the case of course, she knew the people well after only a few days since she was privvy to their actions and reactions, their files, their interactions with the other couples and a one on one session she had with them in the beginning.

It struck me in a funny way.  I do the same thing when I meet or pass someone on the street; even talk to them over the phone.  Or even connect to someone they know.

While she was talking it felt like a person finally connected with me; so strange. Someone finally understood how I felt or see things; of course it’s not, and she is a doctor of psychology trained to know her clients well; that didn’t register with me; only the words directed to each participant.

I guess it felt like ‘magic’ to me as well and for a few minutes I had the same feeling the participants did since it felt so amazing.

After I realized that she was professionally summarizing their profile in a concise manner and giving it to them in a complete reality check after all that work she did, then knowing I do it by just looking or hearing a person took me a few minutes to comprehend.  It was the closest I ever got to understanding what it is I do and how unusual it is.

Guess that’s why the term ‘psychic’ makes me cringe; there’s so much more that comes through and is involved in what I have and what I do, and have no idea what the ‘title’ of it is.

If anyone out there knows or has a suggestion please let me know!

Vanessa

So yesterday there was a rift between myself and a friend.  Not good.  It happens, and even though I know that I should have disengaged instead of insisting I was right it was difficult.  Finally it was over quickly because I remembered that defending my ‘self’ isn’t important.  I know who I am and what my values are, if others think otherwise there is nothing I can control over that.  My problem is that I want everyone to like me, and that will never happen.  How would I fit them all in my contact list?

Even close people will change the ebb and flow of their life especially as I change the flow of mine; since mine is in such a huge positive upheval right now there are many people leaving my life.  This was just something that caught me off guard, and I engaged in something juvenile. Regretfully, but I forgive myself.

Not 2 minutes after the interaction I received a phonecall from a company where I had placed an order last week.  They asked if I had received their email, and I had not.  They said that an item I ordered was not in stock and they wanted to know if I wanted another color; I didn’t, but it was funny; there were two items I had ordered for that person in that shipment, so I asked them to remove them.  That person said they wanted no contact with me, and I laughed that the universe was saving me from spending money I can definitely not afford to spend right now.

I don’t get surprised by the universe that often these days, but that one really made me laugh!!

Now if the universe would send me a few people to pack my apartment and help me unpack on the first that would be great…  Packing sucks.

 

Talked with the nicest guy this week. He was concerned about being scammed, so wanted some clarity which I’m always happy to help with.
When he got to the part where he was taking a salt bath/wash at this womans place I wanted to stop him, but he was a very funny and uplifting guy; he went on with her doing some energy stuff, and how spooky it was that she was so dead on with things.
I hate bursting peoples bubbles, but I prefer their money stay in their own pocket. I explained that most energy work is not really done by readers, and it was just creepy what he did. He had a great laugh.
Also I explained that many non reputable readers read by “fishing”. In school we learned about micro signs and reactions you make without knowing it.
We talked about his”session”since it was still so fresh in his mind, and after following the basic path of a basic readers conversation in a con that I’ve seen so often I started identifying how they learns those things from him, and he had no idea, thinking they were amazing.
He said he felt stupid at that point, but still laughed so great.
Told him not to, just gather strength for phase 2; the shakedown.
Now comes scare tactics, constant phone calls, threats and more to get you to come in to “help you”.
He laughed and said she had already called since she had ordered the supplies to do the work for clearing my darker energy around me, lol. $350 (cheap!)
I said if he was smart he would just stop answering her calls and let it go. If he felt bad have her show a bill of receipt from a company she ordered the supplies from and reimburse her the $5 and be done.  Great laugh.
He called again a few days later and apparently she had become very threatening on the phone saying it was life or death he come in; not to tell anyone; etc. he was a little confused and worried.
I said yes, I suppose she is right; it’s life or death cause she counted on you being conned to come in and spend lots more than 350, cause the 1at of the month is coming up and her rent is due! She said not to tell anyone so no one would point out to you that it was such a bunch of hoowey!
He laughed the best ever and said he should have given that money to me instead.  I said well, I’m moving so it would come in handy, but just refer me to people for real readings and I know I’ll be fine.
I hope he still has his humor going strong.

Soul Colds

So…

Have you felt kind of down and disconnected recently?  Out of it?  Just annoyed at so many things that would normally not bother you?

I see it as a soul cold.  Our bodies have a cold (which I’m in the middle of a whopper right now) but many of my friends are in the middle of a soul cold right now which may explain why my cold is hanging on so long.

These are probably caused by something astrological but I don’t follow that kind of thing.  All of a sudden all of my sensitive friends are just hermits, and not communicating at all.  I just explained it to someone today that I was concerned about.

Please excuse any poor or basic writing, but I am blurry (nyquil) and just felt the need to share this with everyone that might be experience it without understanding what is making them down or just what my daughter calls “poopy” lately.

It’s about day 9, and it usually lasts 10-14 days, so we are over the hump.

After having the flu, now the severe cold, bronchitis and the soul cold, and I AM MOVING APRIL 1st…..  I better feel better soon.  I’m warning the Universe, and I am serious this time.

I’m always a patient person; it owes me.

BTW… Why is it that everyone who offers to help me clean or pack has been cancelling on me for the last month??  Also, the past three people that cleaned for me have been hurt severely unable to help any longer, making me afraid to ask for help as well.

Even professional services that I call to get quotes and help from won’t return my calls.  I have been wondering about it, trying to figure out why the heck this is happening, maybe what lesson I’m supposed to learn from it.

BUT WTF?????